Okay so I am working on my 3rd day of not smoking cigarettes. It is highly annoying but not the epic mental battle I seem to remember from my previous attempts. So the question I ask is what is different this time? The main thing I think this time is that I am really just done. I don't want to smoke anymore (not that I don't get cravings because MAN I get them), I just don't want to be a smoker anymore. I am tired of letting cigarettes own my routine, now if I don't have to stop on the way home from work I just don't have to stop... Another reason is Nate. We spoke this weekend and have been talking about kids... he wants three (much to my suprise) but if i'm starting at 32 we are going to have to have one every 18 mos or so and I can't be thinking about getting healthy for all that stress on my body right before hand... I'm going to have to get into really good shape so I can do this and still be healthy afterwards. I am also much more able to be honest with myself now than I ever was before and with that comes higher self accountability.
As for right now I sit and grind my teeth without knowing I'm doing it, eat mints and candy like that's what I get paid to do, and look forward to my perfect little future that i'm despreatly trying to plan
>.<
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