Waking Sleep

So it seems that the schedule I have set up for myself is taking its toll.  I am constantly tired, but I am happy.

Monday 8-5 work, then home to cook for the week
Tuesday 8-5 work, then to class 6-10
Wednesday 8-5 work, then yoga class and seminar 6-9
Thursday 8-5 work, then yoga teacher training 6-9:30 (1 time a month)
Friday 8-5 work
Saturday 8:30-2:15 work at yoga desk
Sunday - 9-10:30 Yoga Class

Whew!  Plus other things like homework and family dinner, plus god forbid I would wanna spend time with my friends.

Okay so enough complaining since I am happy right now!  D and I are going to visit T who just had ruptured disc surgery on her neck a week ago.  Poor baby is hurting for sure, and beyond bored. 

I have decided to try and conquer my fears about going to new places by myself.  I need to change my expectations and beliefs about what is going to happen and how people are going to treat me.  This will be a huge step for me once I get there.
 

Crying at work...

So today I cried at work...  not a lot, or in front of anyone.  But it did happen.  I asked if people had heard about something and people for real laughed in my face and insisted that it was old news over and over, laughing at me, and I felt like an idiot.  Suddenly I'm in grade school again, i'm 6 and no one wants to be my friend, they just want to laugh at how dumb I am and make fun of me.  So I shut down, I told them not to stand near my cubicle to discuss it, which they apparently had done yesterday...  before it was confirmed...  but anyway.  I was so sad by how I was treated that I actually said outloud that my feelings were hurt, everyone ignored this and continued to discuss the topic I brought up but was dumb for thinking anyone would want to talk about.

 

raise your hand if you love your monthly hormone swings...

 

sniff sniff...